I like my mum

Freddie Fuller smells because he lives on the council and his mum doesn’t have a bath. Smelly Freddie doesn’t come to school very often but the police must be family friends as they are always round his house having some instant whip. I not only get to see Jenny Schneider’s front and back bottoms but the whole of year two, three and four. Goody Putnam got two black eyes from Gavin Savage because he didn’t knock my arm when I flicked my last marble. My Cousin John says I can have some Whisky. I say I don’t want any. I don’t know what it is anyway. My cousin John says if I don’t have some then I’m a girl. I don’t want to go through what my sister went though at the hospital so I have some Whisky. My Cousin John tells me he wants to go to a party and do I know of any. I can’t speak because my mouth’s on fire. Cousin John says I’m nearly a man now. I just have to tell him where a party is. I splutter that Benda Carter is having one with a clown. My Cousin John tells me to call her and ask if he can come too. When I ring Brenda her brother answers and says No Cousin John can’t come. Cousin John grabs the phone and says he’s coming round. Brenda’s brother says don’t you dare. Cousin John dares and we go round to Brenda’s. When Brenda opens the door Cousin John says he wants to see Brenda’s brother outside and promises not to use any ‘shooters’. Brenda’s mum calls the police and cousin John gets sent to his bedroom by the same man in a wig that told my mum off. When my mum gets home from being told off by the man in the wig she and my dad start singing and flinging their arms about. I can’t hear anything because I’m outside on the swing with my sister. It’s nice to see my mum and dad enjoying themselves again dancing and singing. My mum smashes a plate into my dad’s face and now blood is pouring out all over the kitchen. I wish I had been able to tell my dad where the gold was buried, before he had his face smashed in.